5 Tips for Talking to a Loved One aboutTheir Mental Health
Here are five simple things that every person can say or do to help the people in their life who are struggling to get through the tough times.
Practice active listening.
Active listening is different than just hearing what a person has to say. A good active listener:
puts everything aside and gives their complete attention to the person who is talking
asks open-ended questions to get more details about the topic that is being discussed (“And how did that make you feel?”)
takes moments throughout the conversation to summarize what they’ve been told and make sure they are understanding clearly
Resist marking comparisons.
If a friend or loved-one is going through a tough situation and they come to you for support, you might feel tempted to tell them about something that happened to you and how you were able to get through it. It’s okay to share about similar experiences, but be careful not to compare. It can make someone feel like their pain isn’t valid. For instance, if they are telling you about a breakup, don’t mention how you had a much harder divorce. Focus on what you did to cope with feelings of loss or loneliness.
Ask how you can help.
It can be tempting to assume what would be helpful to someone who is struggling, but it’s always better to ask them what they need from you. If you ask and get a response like, “ I’m fine,” offer up a few suggestions for things you would be willing to do . For instance, you could offer to come sit with them and watch a movie, have dinner, or pick up a few things for them at the store.
Don’t judge.
To be truly supportive of someone, you need to put your personal opinions and biases aside. They may be struggling because of a mistake that they made, or you may think that they are overreacting, but you will never know what it is truly like to be that person in this moment, and criticism is not helpful to their recovery.
Know when more serious help is needed.
Sometimes the support that you can offer won’t be enough. If you notice that your friend or loved-one continues to struggle after weeks or months, they may need professional help. Don’t be afraid to encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional and offer to help them find a provider if needed.